Does that mean that in a few years all of the Wonder Girls will grow up to be Wonder Women?! *tee hee hee* *snort snort* *adjusts glasses*

I’ve been in a real updating mood lately, especially since I’m moving on up in the internet world… well, at least that’s what alexa.com tells me. Granted, 90% of my traffic comes from google searches for “erin esurance transvestite.” But hey, beggars can’t be choosers. (By the way, go ahead and google “erin esurance transvestite.” I don’t know whether to be scared… or excited that popho is the number one result.)

I thought I’d return to my “roots” and start reviewing more Asian music videos because they are infinitely make-funable. Serious. There’s more unintentional comedy in 5 minutes of a FinkL video than there was in the Michigan-Appalachian State game.

On deck for today’s review/synopsis/whatever, is the Wonder Girl’s latest video, Tell Me. I got this off of Asian Junkie. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, Asian Junkie is one of the few good Korean pop music sites that isn’t written in some bizarre moon language. Plus the webmaster, kensai, realizes the one thing that makes Kpop videos so great; hot bitches.

Since I am so out of the whole Asian pop loop, and have been for a while, I had to hit up Wonder Girl’s wikipedia entry and it seems like these girls are cursed. Chronic gastroenteritis? Vehicular homicide? Jesus, it’s a wonder these girls are able to perform at all.

HAR HAR HAR.

I am glad that the majority of these girls are 18 because I’ll only feel like a dirty old man 40% of the time since 2 out of the 5 girls are still only 15. I also won’t be able to tell which member is which since all Asian people look alike. Not that that matters anyway though right? Alright, long enough intro… on the the review…

0:04 - The Wonder Girls are all sitting around watching television. Apparently it’s a shitty television because because one of them has to bang on it to get it to work.

They are also all wearing schoolgirl outfits. Nothing screams taboo sexual fantasies like schoolgirl outfits.

0:09 - Are they watching music videos? Because that would be kind of weird if they were. I mean, I’m watching a music video about a bunch of girls watching music videos.

0:29 - Finally we get to see the girls in action. Very cute set I guess. The second one from the left in the jean skirt is pretty hot. I hope she’s not one of the jailbait ones.

0:37 - Oh no! Baby’s about to get ran over!

0:51 - Okay, the girl isn’t wearing a skirt. Just a skort.

1:00 - One of the girls turn into Wonder Woman. I think I see where this is going…

1:14 - This song and video makes me want to go shopping at K-Mart. I don’t why, it just does.

1:16 - How the hell did this girl get in the group? Man, her dad or uncle or someone probably had to pull some massive strings. Normally there’s an “ugly one” in all of these girl groups, but damn! She looks like the female Gremlin.

1:21 - Yay! Wonder Woman stops the bus. I also just set a new popho record for most number of screen caps in a post ever. I can’t help it. I think I actually might like this video.

1:34 - I wonder what the Wonder Girls want me to tell them. Also the hook is pretty catchy.

1:48 - Girls in the locker room. This could only lead to trouble. Maybe someone will stick their tongue through a hole in the wall.

1:49 - …

1:54 - Uh oh. A flasher jumps out of one of the lockers and give the girls an eyeful.

2:04 - Wonder Woman appears again. I am going out on a limb here, but I think she’s going to beat up the flasher.

2:40 - Oh God. It’s the “breakdown” portion of the video. I hate these parts, especially since the majority of Asian pop stars can’t dance. At least most Korean songs don’t have that shitty K-rap sequence that was practically in every Korean pop song from 1999 - 2004.

2:50 - Attention shoppers. Blue light sale on Katy Ireland shirts.

3:04 - Fuck. Spoke too soon. Do people actually like these K-rap segments? Anyone?

And to make it worse, it’s the hot skort wearing girl that’s doing the rapping. She’s no longer my favorite Wonder Girl.

3:32 - I don’t know what is going on right now. I think the boys are picking on the girl and Wonder Woman is back to save the day.

4:05 - Yay Wonder Woman! And yay Wonder Girls! Does that mean that in a few years all of the Wonder Girls will grow up to be Wonder Women?! *tee hee hee* *snort snort* *adjusts glasses*

 

 

 

Seriously, somebody kill me.

Verdict: I like this video. Kind of surprising since I haven’t seen a Kpop video that I liked in a long time. It has almost everything that I look for in a Kpop video; cheesy music, cute girls, and skorts. The only thing that it was missing was Hyori in a tight wet shirt with no bra on and wearing like cotton boy shorts. Oh man, that would be so hot.

Score: 8.5

Related Posts:

→ Lee Jung Hyun: Joolae
→ H.O.T.: Candy
→ Ivy: Sonata of Temptation
→ Jang Nara: Kung Fu
→ A Look At Baby Vox Re.V