Ratchet then rebuilds Optimus anew, except for one important detail: Prime’s arm is missing.

Since I currently have the biggest case of writer’s block ever in the history of internet bloggers, and because I want to exploit the new Transformers movie as much as possible, I’ve decided to repost all of my reviews of the old Transformers cartoon. Keep in mind that these are all pretty old and hastily written by me while under the influence of Surge soda and diet pills. Enjoy!

Transformers: City of Steel

I must admit, I’ve been on a Transformer kick… even more than usual. Even though I’m too poor to afford the TF G1 boxed set, that doesn’t mean that I can’t enjoy the original episodes. Believe it or not, I have downloaded every single G1 cartoon at one point or another, so whenever I feel like watching one, all I need to do is pop in a cd-r. It might be illegal, but hey, so should the price for that new boxed set.

Today’s episode sypnosis is of City of Steel. I believe it was midway through the second season. One notable thing about this particular episode is that the level of animation was head and shoulders over the prior episodes. All of the characters were animated very well. The lines were very sharp and even the transformations were clean. I could be wrong when I am saying this, but I think City of Steel set a new benchmark in terms of animation for series.

Things start off simply enough. The Decepticons hatch one of their brilliant plans to defeat the Autobots and conquer earth. This particular planned called for the aid of the Constructicons.

You see, Megatron wants to place his HQ where the Empire State building is. He achieves this by slowly tunneling under the building and then destroying its foundation. The Empire building sinks into the ground, and the Decepticons new fortress takes its place.

Everything goes according to plan. Of course Optimus and Co. show up to try to stop Megatron, but it’s too late. The Decepticons also use the same strategy on Optimus that they did on the Empire State building, and surprisingly it works.

With Optimus Prime as his captive, Megatron threatens the other Autobots that if they don’t leave immediately, than Optimus is toast. Left with little choice, the Autobots leave. Things are looking grim for our Autobot friends…

The Decepticons immobilize Optimus, but even when he’s unable to move, old Prime makes Megatron feel uneasy. Megatron orders Scrapper to disassemble Optimus into a bunch of spare parts. He tells the Constructicons to do whatever they want with his body parts, but Megatron wants to keep the head.

I swear, every time I see this scene, it makes me imagine Megatron as Hamlet, a raspy voiced Hamlet with a cannon on his arm. Can’t you just see a 20-ft tall robot who likes to recite Shakespeare?

Megatron: Alas poor Optimus! I knew him, Starscream, a fellow of infinite jest, of most excellent fancy.

Starscream: Why don’t you just eat his head Megatron? Then you would be rid of him forever.

Megatron: Frailty, thy name is Starscream! Get thee to a nunnery!

Er… maybe not.

Meanwhile, a group of Autobots decide to sneak into the Decepticon’s headquarters by going through the sewers. While down there, they are suddenly attacked by a big fucking robotic alligator with the same color scheme as Optimus. Hmmm? Maybe this has something to do with the plot later on. They manage to escape the alligator and find Optimus Prime’s head.

Optimus Prime then explains to the other Autobots that the Constructicons used his body parts to make the alligator, and that he must be rebuilt. ASAP. RSPV. ESPN. The group backtracks to where they saw the alligator and manage to subdue it, thanks to Optimus’s telepathic link with his body parts.

Ratchet then rebuilds Optimus anew, except for one important detail: Prime’s arm is missing. It’s apparent that the Decepticons didn’t use his arm in making the alligator robot, so where could it be? Dear God, where could Optimus Prime’s arm be?!?!?!

…

…

Why even bother? I think the picture speaks for itself. It’s almost as bad as Shredder’s contraption in that TMNT episode I reviewed. At anyrate, with Optimus Prime back, the Autobots launch a major counteroffensive and have the Decepticons running… that is till they bust out their secret weapon:

Devastator!!! Devastator was one of those Transformers that could be made by putting together a bunch of smaller Transformers. In theory this sounds pretty cool, but as anybody with the Constructicon set will tell you, Devastator was the ultimate suck ass. You *could* put him together, but if you as so much look in his general direction, he’ll come apart, so it made playing with him impossible.

Think about it, even Bumblebee could beat the guy. All he would have to do is drive by Devastator doing about 30 mph, and the wind coming off of Bumblebee would cause Devastator to fall into a million pieces.

I gotta admit he was pretty cool in the cartoon though. Devastator immediately starts smashing everything in site and goes after Optimus, who in turn is trying to climb the Decepticon HQ to get his arm back. Devastator grabs Optimus in what is almost an exact facsimile of King Kong.

Think about it, big monkey atop Empire State building with damsel in hand, Devastator with Optimus atop the new Decepticon HQ which is in the old place that the Empire building was in. Even Wheeljack takes notice of this, and he tries to use some helicopters to get Devastator to come crashing down, but fails… as usual. Poor Wheeljack. I’m sure if he had a mouth the other Autobots would have tied him down and fed him feces by now. Autobot feces.

All seems lost, but Optimus has one last trick up his sleave. Using his telepathic link, he orders his arm to start firing at Devastator. Now he comes crashing down into the ground, leaving the Autobots victorious once more.

City of Steel was a great episode, and it’s one of the few that I remember watching as a child. I remember I had an Optimus Prime whose arm fell off, so I basically stole the plot of this show while playing with my toys. That was last weekend by the way. Like I said at the beginning, the animation is excellent in this one and I must admit the story was entertaining. We got to see a lot of Transformers in action, and for a nano-second, it seemed that if the Decepticons might have been victorious. It’s a good watch, and I highly recommend it.

Score: 8.4

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