Today’s episode synopsis takes a look at the origin of my favorite group of Transformers: the Dinobots.

Since I currently have the biggest case of writer’s block ever in the history of internet bloggers, and because I want to exploit the new Transformers movie as much as possible, I’ve decided to repost all of my reviews of the old Transformers cartoon. Keep in mind that these are all pretty old and hastily written by me while under the influence of Surge soda and diet pills. Enjoy!

Transformers: SOS Dinobots

Transformers. Just typing that word sends shivers up my spine. No, I’m not talking about the gray things that are on electricity poles. I am talking about Hasbro’s line of robotic action figures, which in turn are based on Takara’s toyline. Transformers have always been more than just a childhood fancy for me; even when they fell out of style, I still kept up with all the Transformers lore and supported them whenever I can.

Hell, I was even a member of the Transfans. And this was when I was in middle and high school. Unlike the retro-crazed era of today, if you liked Transformers back then, it would not gain you any cool points among your peers. In a way it’s pleasant to see some guys picking this stuff up again, but like all fads, it is kinda annoying. Especially seeing something I hold so near and dear to my heart being exploited.

Today’s episode synopsis takes a look at the origin of my favorite group of Transformers: the Dinobots. If there was something in my childhood which I liked as much as Transformers, it was dinosaurs. I think dinosaurs appeal to children in general, but I was a really weird kid who took all my passions to extremes. Dinobots were probably the closest thing to perfection in my mind as a child. I mean, dinosaurs that were Transformers; if I could cream in my pants, I think I would have.

The episode opens with the Autobots starting to take an interest in dinosaurs, after they discover that there are a shitload of fossils located in the same volcano that the Ark crashed in. Spike explains to the Autobots about Dinosaurs, and it just seem like Optimus and co. can’t get enough.

Well Ratchet and Wheeljack come up with a brilliant idea. Why don’t they just make their own dinosaur Transformers? Since everybody is on a kick for all things reptilian and ancient, Optimus Prime gives the two the okay and they immediately get to work.

Hmmm… you know, after typing that paragraph, it makes my wonder why the Autobots didn’t make any female robots. Obviously since they can create some dinosaurs, why not some female companionship. I’m not insinuating that the Autobots are gay or anything, but it does make you wonder…

The two finish creating the Dinobots: Slagg, Sludge, and Grimlock. If you are wondering about Swoop and Snarl, they don’t appear until a few episodes later. The Dinobots are extrememly powerful, yet incredibly stupid.

They immediately start destroying everything around them, and even start attacking the other Autobots. It seems as if they aren’t intelligent enough to distinguish friend from foe, and almost lay waste to the Ark until Wheeljack shuts them down.

Worried about the safety of the other Autobots, Prime decrees that the Dinobots should be put in a cave and never used again. Ratchet and Wheeljack are kinda peeved, but hey, what can they do? It is Prime we are talking about here, and his word is law.

Meanwhile, the Decepticons take over a powerplant in order to manufacture energon cubes. I swear, this is the eighth episode in the series, but the Decepticons must have tried taking over at least a dozen hydroelectric plants. I’m sure if the Autobots could make the Dinobots, Megatron could have at least come up with a more efficient method of producing energon. But hell, what do I know. I blew up my microwave because I left a metal spoon in the bowl.

If you’re not familiar with Transformers lore, the Decepticons were after energon because it was a prized form of energy that they needed in order to conquer the home planet of the Transformers, Cybertron. It could basically be made from anything, but as I said earlier, the Decepticons seemed to enjoy taking over hydro plants. I remember as a kid I would take sugar cubes and pretend that they were energon. I really thought the stuff could make me stronger, until I ate a whole box of them and got sick.

Of course, the Autobots show up to try to stop them, but Megatron has his own surprise in store for them. He hooks up the electric generators to his gun and blows up the mountain the Autobots were standing on, sending them into the river below.

Things look grim for our Autobot friends. The remaining Autobots aren’t enough to go rescue the others, so they decide that they must disobey Prime and resurrect the Dinobots. Wheeljack invents some new fandangle device that will boost the intelligence of the Dinobots so that they won’t fuck everything up again when they come back to life.

Back at the damn, the Decepticons have the Autobots all tied up and are about to execute them… gansta style. Optimus Prime is so scared, he turned blue. Megatron is going on and on in his droneful voice about how he’s the shit, when all of a sudden, the Dinobots show up.

Wheeljack fires a shot and actually hits Megatron. This might not seem special, but when you consider that there have been episodes where all the Transformers do is shoot at each other and nobody get hit, this is a huge deal. Megs is down, and immediately Starscream proclaims himself as the new leader of the Decepticons. Of course this doesn’t last, because Megs is back on his feet later on.

Which raises interesting question number 2: Why did Megatron keep Starscream around, when it was so obvious that Starscream was intent on screwing him over? I remember having a heated discussion about this with some other guy in the Transfans. He said it was because Starscream was so powerful. My arguement was that Megatron needed somebody to beat the shit out of whenever his missions failed, which was quite often. Starscream might be one of my favorite Transformers, but we all know that he’s a big pussy.

Alright, well the Dinosaurs end up defeating all of the Decepticons, and the Autobots are freed. Even though Wheeljack and BumbleBee disobeyed him, Optimus forgives them, and allows to the Dinobots to remain as permanent Autobots. Hooray!

This episode was a decent one compared to some of the others. The storyline was predictable, but I think that it’s significance as the origin of the Dinobots boosts it several notches. The Dinobots have always been some of the more popular toys, and even though people love them, they don’t really know where the Dinobots came from.

Score: 7.5

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