I bought the new Grimlock. Yes, I am a full grown man that bought a kids’ toy. Big whup, wanna to fight about it?

For those of you that don’t know, and for the majority of you who came here because you searched for Misa Campo but instead found an article about fart fetishes, my computer blew up the other day. So I’ve been out of commission for over a week. I was going to hold off on buying a computer since I am so poor… but since I am addicted to the internet, I had to go buy a new laptop. Yup.

Also, despite being extremely impoverished, I picked up one of the new Grimlocks. I don’t know what the deal is behind this new line, and quite honestly, I’m too lazy to go look it up. I think I read somewhere a while back that Hasbro decided to release new TF’s based on the G1’s. Whatever the case, this Grimlock reminded me so much of the original one that I had to pick it up.

Grimlock was the fucking shit when I was a kid. For most kids, it was either Optimus or Grimlock. There was an occasional kid who liked Jazz, but who gives a fuck about Jazz because he is fucking gay. I hate Jazz. I don’t like him. Jazz shouldn’t be in the world or in the United States. I mean, Grimlock was a Tyrannosaur (only the coolest dinosaur) and he talked like most of my fellow second graders. (I went to public school.)

Here’s a shot of the new Grimlock next to the old one. It’s actually very well made and there are like a million points of articulation, compared to 5 on the old one. (I still love the G1, probably more than I could ever love any woman, but the new one is better made.)

By the way, I took most of these pictures in the bathroom for the same reason all the emo kids do, lighting. You would think that if I had money to blow on a new computer and a toy I will never play with I could afford a nice lamp for the house… but yeah, that’s how I roll.

Transforming the new Grimlock is a bitch. I swear the toy came out with a foldout instruction booklet that had like 40 steps to transform from dinosaur to robot mode. I couldn’t imagine many kids being able to transform this thing without the help of an astrophysicist. In fact, I’m pretty sure that I still haven’t gotten the robot form down.

Also Grimlock’s head is in his ass. Hee hee.

From the back of the bubble package:

“Me, Grimlock!” Grimlock keeps a collection of the parts he’s torn off his Decepticon enemies. His super-thick ultramantium skin in both robot and dinosaur mode is coated in energy-absorbing materials, making him nearly impervious to damage. There are many who might say much the same thing about his mind. He is actually smart, but a programming flaw in his speech centers gives him only the most basic communication skills. He dislikes the weak, but is dedicated to the protection of those he views as lesser creatures. The only thing he hates more than weakness, in fact, is those who exploit the weak.

So let’s see… he’s like a heroic Ted Bundy/Stephen Hawking/Ghandi kinda guy.

Here are the weapons that Grimlock comes with. The gun actually fires and is more than capable of putting your eye out. It really is a dangerous weapon. I plan on using this on my roommates the next time one of them pisses me off. His tail also becomes a whip. I plan on using this on my roommates the next time we participate in bdsm.

Finally Grimlock in robot form…. next to my glass of bourbon. See, I told you I couldn’t transform him (notice the screws in his shoulder…)., even though the glass of bourbon might have something to do with that…

Overall, I’d have to say I like this Grimlock. While the G1 is tops all time simply because, the new Grimlock really has the feel of the old one. In fact, all of the new “classics” line are great and I might just have to pick up a couple more of them.