What do you get when you mix a bunch of otakus, lots of alcohol, and my first anime con? Just a repost from my glory days.

My Trip to AWA 2004 A repost about my first anime convention ever. Complete with otakus, me trying to pick up girls, and a giant box of Pocky.

Anime conventions. I’ve always heard about these legendary events, but I’ve never attended one… until now. As some of you may, or may not know, I have an odd fascination with cosplayers. I do not know why, it just is. For this reason alone, you might think that I’d be all about conventions. On the other hand, there are a group of people that keep me away: the Otakus!!!

If you don’t know, otaku means stupid Anime nerd in Japanese. I suppose that many cosplayers are otakus (I mean you kind of have to be obsessed to be decked out some of this gear). On the nerd scale, otakus rank somewhere slightly above the “guys who play Magic the Gathering” but right below the movie snobs. Those that think that they know everything about Japanese culture based on watching movies about tentacle rape get bumped down to nearly the Furry or “guys that learn Klingon” level. Not all otaku are bad, in fact, some are alright. I do not know any that are, but I am sure that they’re out there. Also, otakus tend to smell funny due to their high level of consuming Pocky and soba noodles.

For my first convention, I was to attend the AWA. No, that the American Wrestling Association, but the… uh… come to think of it, I don’t know what it stands for. I’m sure one of the A’s stands for anime. But yeah, Tora had a table at the con and invited me up.

At any rate, I do not want to make this intro too long, so let’s get into how I spent my day at the AWA.

Things did not start off too well. I was having a hard time finding the event. I circled around the area in which it was supposed to be located. I knew I had found it though when I saw a guy dressed up as Sailor Moon walk by. Tora was having some problems getting to the event, so I sat outside in front of the Con for a couple of hours and chain-smoked an entire pack of cigarettes. I did get the chance to talk to some cool people though. I guess I could have walked inside by myself, but the entire thing was entirely too intimidating. I mean, what if I ran into a hardcore cosplaying otaku and he wanted to beat my ass. I could probably take him in a fight, but otakus have been known to swarm outsiders. Imagine a zerg rush, but only with a bunch of guys dressed up like Vash the Stampede and Pokemon characters. I don’t know about you guys, but that isn’t something I want to face alone.

By the way, the kid in the Batman Beyond costume was the first picture I took… and the most sane one. His masked was crooked and he couldn’t see where he was going, but still, kid as Batman. You can’t go wrong with that.

Here’s the second picture I took. I must confess, I found it hard to just walk up to total strangers and start talking to them and asking about their costumes and to take pictures, but the thing is, these people love it. I met one girl who kept a notepad and tallied up how many times she had her picture taken as a way of scorekeeping. But yeah, the costumes here were very well made, and they even got into some kind of funky pose. I think the girl on the left is Ivey and the one on the right is Quasimodo.

Tora finally arrived and we stepped into the convention.

Nothing… I mean absolutely nothing in my life could have prepared me for what the sights I saw and the sounds I heard. And the smells I smelled. It was as if I stepped into an entirely different world. You guys know how when you were a kid and watched MTV’s Spring Break and kind of see how crazy it can get and can’t wait till you’re old enough to go, and when you finally go you’re still blown away. Well it was kind of like that for me. Sorta. Keeping with the Spring Break connection, it was kind of like Girls Gone Wild, except like… you know… Otakus Gone Wild. They were jumping around and singing anime songs and dancing and acting like the characters they were dressed up as. I should seriously trademark that by the way because I think they would sell like hotcakes. Oh wait, I forgot the audience that I am dealing with. They would sell like Pocky.

By the way, it feels good to write in a stream of conscience manner where I do not have to worry about grammar or punctuation. Almost everything I’ve written recently is pretty dry and formulaic.

Here’s the first picture I took inside. I told these two if they were my hand in Texas Hold’ em, I’d do a blind all in. I don’t think they got my joke though. I think the one on the right might have been a guy too.

Pocky was fucking everywhere. Now I eat Pocky all the time too, and it is pretty delicious, but these otakus just take it too far. They probably think that by eating enough pocky, they will become kawaiiii Japanesu. ^__^

There were also a lot of Links at the event. Female Link was pretty smoking. I think I might dress up as Link next year. Maybe. Maybe not.

By the way, these pictures are pretty shitty because I used my 7610 to take them.

The Tetris block people were pretty cool. I don’t have much to say about them other than that.

Here are some other well done costumes. I don’t know what it is from… in fact, I do not know where the majority of these costumes came from, but it’s still well done. Top hat chick was pretty cool.

I told this guy not to look like a total asshat when I took his picture.

He failed.

Really cool outfit. Can’t say much else about it…

me: I really like your outfit.

her: Meow.

me: Did you spend a lot of time on it?

her: Meow meow.

me: So where are you from?

her: Meow.

me: You’re just doing this because you don’t want to talk to me huh?

her: Yeah.

I really felt bad for this girl. I mean, here was her big day out the anime convention. She worked so hard on her white robe, only to forget that Aunt Flow was visiting.

What?! That’s part of her outfit. Oh, my bad.

Chun Li in the classic pose. Another well made outfit. I asked her if she could show me her “lightning kick”. Unfortunately, her boyfriend was standing right beside me.

Yeah. That sucked.

This picture doesn’t do this costume justice. It was all shimmery in real life and the wings also moved.

me: That is an excellent Ivey costume.

her: Gee thanks!

me: I really like that sword. You know, I have a pretty cool sword too.

her: Oh really? Can I see it?

me: *points down at crotch* GET SOME OF DIS!!!

her: *beats me down*

At this point, I was all “animed” out and decided to hit the hotel bar for a few. I mean seriously, my mind was about to explode if I heard another yippy cosplayer. Here’s a quick summary of the what happened so far.

Pictures taken: 40

Number of times physical violence was threatened: 3

Girls talked to: 10

Girls that I absolute creeped out that ran away: 1

Phone numbers collected: 2

Number of guys I mistook for girls: 3

Number of times the stench from the DDR room made me want to vomit: 5

Money spent: $25

After a had a couple of black and tans and some mighty excellent chicken wings, I decided to resume my activities at the convention.

I did more than just create mischief at the con. Take this for example. I asked Optimus Prime if he could hug Megatron. There was not a dry eye in the house as this magic moment happened.

I should really hone my “macking skillz”. Here’s a bunch of Guilty Gear ladies attacking me after I said something stupid. Being sodomized with the giant anchor wasn’t so bad… but the girl on the right really got into it and stretched my hoodie and pulled out some of my hair. That broad needed to chill out.

Picture of girl.

Picture of boyfriend threatening to beat me with a pillow. Don’t let that weak smile fool you, this dude was furious. I didn’t want no trouble, so I backed away.

By the way, from what I’ve seen, otakus make the most insane jealous boyfriends. I mean dudes, chill out. I’m just trying to have a nice conversation. There’s not need to come hold her hand or give her a kiss or butt into the convo and mention that you’re her boyfriend 398742394 times. I am surprised some of these guys didn’t start pissing to mark their territory. But then again, the back part of the lobby did smell kind of funny.

Oh silly otakus, what won’t you do?

Lacey Chabert was also at the con. By the way, can anybody explain why people have those little stuff animals on their shoulders? I think it might have something to do with furries, but I am not sure.

Well guys, it was nice knowing you. I think I made fun of one too many cosplayers and this guy got fed up with it.

SNAKE?!

SNAAAAAAAAAAAAAKKKKKKEEEEEEEE!!!

Somehow I managed to escape my encounter with Solid Snake. Another cosplayer dressed up as something that I don’t recognize, but it was pretty rad. Her bow was one of the coolest things I saw at the con.

Hmmm… there’s something not quite right about this picture…

Fixed.

Master Chief. This outfit was absolutely fantastic. People were applauding where ever this guy was going. I met the guy who made the suit and was going to plug his website… but I forgot the url. Oh well. I’d say that this was probably in a tie with the next cosplayer for best of the show…

It does look kind of shitty here, but I’m telling you, this thing was bad ass. I think the lady is supposed to be Fei. Fans of anime will recognize Fei from various yaoi fanfictions. But yeah, the Gundam was freaking nuts.

me: Can I take your picture?

her: Sure.

me: That outfit is really hot.

her: Thanks.

*small talk for about 5 minutes*

me: Would you like to go get something to eat?

her: I would, but I am looking for somebody.

me: Well look no further, because I am right here.

her: …

me: Get it? I’m right here! Come on, that’s clever.

her: Uhm… I guess. I got to go now. And could you delete my picture from your camera? The thought of you sexually fantasizing to me doesn’t make me very comfortable.

I guess I showed her!!! I didn’t delete the picture!!! Oh man, I am such a tough rebel. Me = 1. Sexy girl in short short skirt and stockings = 0.

Overall, I had a lot more fun than I thought I would; but then again, I somehow always make the best out of these situations. I know I’ve ripped on otakus and anime fans and cosplayers and whatever, but it’s all in good fun. I was really impressed by many of the costumes. No doubt the outfits took a high level of skill and effort to make… and a lot of balls to wear. Hopefully I can attend another anime convention sometime in the future.