Much to the dismay of otakus and pedos, no one gets naked in this video…

I’ve always been aware of Morning Musume, but never really got into their stuff. I didn’t find the act entertaining or that any of the music worth listening to. Also, mostly because I am not a pedophile with yellow fever. I bet Morning Musume’s fanbase breaks down into something like this:

Young girls: 30%
Old dirty men: 55%
Old dirty lesbians: 10%
Hispanic (not white): 5%

Serious. I bet Chris Hansen could have endless fodder for his television show if he started hanging around Morning Musume fan sites. For those of you that don’t know about Morning Musume, from wikipedia:

Morning Musume (モーニング娘。, Mōningu Musume.?) is a popular all-girl J-pop group from Japan that often changes its members. It is also known as “Momusu” (モー娘。, Mōmusu.?). Their act revolves around singing and dancing to generally upbeat melodies. They are the lead group of the Hello! Project, masterminded by Tsunku, who writes nearly all of their song lyrics and composes nearly all of the melodies for the songs.

‘Musume’ means daughter or girl, hence the name ‘Morning Girls’. They are meant to be the “daughters of Japan”. The group is particularly well-known for its shuffled line-up, with “graduations” occurring nearly each year (”retiring” a girl from the group), and holding auditions to add new members. Along with the shuffled line-up are several splinter groups, and Morning Musume often works closely with other Hello! Project acts, including but not limited to Aya Matsuura, Berryz Koubou, Melon Kinenbi, and Country Musume.

So basically Morning Musume is like a super group who changes members every few years. The only thing that I can think of that is somewhat comparable is Destiny’s Child. Some of the members that “graduated” went on to have solid careers in their own right… but since I don’t really know anything about the Japanese music scene I can’t really tell you who.

Egao YES Nude (the “YES” is always in all caps) is one of Morning Musume’s latest videos. It certainly is a lot more risque than their prior efforts; the girls don short skirts and there’s a whole lot of writhing going on. I would be turned on by a bunch of teenage girls grabbing each other and dancing all sexy, but, as you all know, I am a furry and can’t get off unless someone is dressed like a bear. God made me how I am. I do have to say some of the girls look really pretty and they should consider giving me a call when they turn 18. Or 16. Or now.

Music is standard Morning Musume fare… really catchy but nothing stands out about it. I’ve talked to a few people who are into this stuff over youngasiangirlsforme.com and they say it’s actually very “mature” compared to their other songs. I find that ironic that a bunch of pederasses used the word “mature” in a good way.

Aside from the dancing and writhing, not much else happens in the video. At one point I thought the girls were shooting up heroin, but it turned out that it was just paints and brushes on a table, not drugs, a needle, and a spoon. At the very end of the video, the girls get splashed with paint. Well, maybe not directly splashed… but their image does. I think we can all see the symbolism here.

Yup. Bukkake.

Score: 5.5