I’ve looked at a lot of disturbing music videos here on konton popHO. In the past, I have explored subjects that nobody else in their right minds would dare touch. I thought that it couldn’t get any worse than Aqua or New Kids on the Block. But I am here to say, yes my friends, it can get worse… much worse… The subject of today’s review is Michael Jackson’s You Are Not Alone, quite possibly one of the most disturbing videos ever created. Every copy of this atrocious affront to human kind should be found and burned. The director should have his flesh flayed from his skin and be fed to kittens. Michael Jackson should be… uh… well he’s fucked up enough already. We can leave him alone.

Michael Jackson: You Are Not Alone

I’ve looked at a lot of disturbing music videos here on konton. In the past, I have explored subjects that nobody else in their right minds would dare touch. I thought that it couldn’t get any worse than Aqua or New Kids on the Block. But I am here to say, yes my friends, it can get worse… much worse…

The subject of today’s review is Michael Jackson’s You Are Not Alone, quite possibly one of the most disturbing videos ever created. Every copy of this atrocious affront to human kind should be found and burned. The director should have his flesh flayed from his skin and be fed to kittens. Michael Jackson should be… uh… well he’s fucked up enough already. We can leave him alone.

If my memory serves me correctly, this video came out a couple of years after the whole sexual abuse case. Michael was trying to send a big FUCK YOU to the media and at the same time, trying to change his image. He got hitched and grew an even more ghastly shade of white than before.

I know he supposedly has that skin disease and all, but MJ is really fucking white. He’s almost a fucking albino. For most of the vid he is half naked and showing his scrawny pasty white chest. I don’t know if he was trying to be sexy, or if he was showing that he’s really the same way all over and it’s not just make up, but it really needs to stop.

That reminded me of this funny picture I saw once. I’m too lazy to try to find it, but it had a picture of Michael and the caption was: “Only in America could a poor black boy become a rich white woman.” Maybe it’s not too funny, but I got a kick out of it.

Oh yeah, the reason why this video is so damn revolting. There’s a nude angel Michael Jackson with wings frolicking around in a spring. This was so fucking weird, that even MTV, long time supporters of Jacko, wouldn’t even air the video unless this was taken out, and I for one don’t blame them.

I even remember sending in this pic to Jerry during his first Abstain from the Cane Campaign due to it’s amazing ability to instantaneously set people’s eyeballs ablaze. You know how when you walk into a public bathroom and see a big turd? It’s something that you didn’t want to see, but you can’t get it out of your head? Well this is kinda like the turd only multiplied by a million bajillion times.

This video also has a nearly nude Michael and Lisa Marie Presley romping around, which is only slightly less horrendous than the angel Michael scenes. The marriage is long over, but I wonder why the two got married in the first place. It boggles the mind. Years from now, when two weird yet totally incompatible people get married, people will refer to it was the Michael-Lisa Marie effect.

But yeah, the lay around and whisper in each others ears and shit like that. There’s no sex involved, but that should be fairly obvious, because Michael Jackson doesn’t have any genitalia. I’m serious. If you took off his pants he would look like a Ken doll.

Oh yeah, Lisa Marie also sticks her ass at the camera every 5.3 seconds, which makes this video equally more disturbing. Every time that you *might* possibly get turned on, MJ’s pasty body flashes across the screen. It’s like you pop wood, but then MJ makes it go away, then more wood, then MJ, and so on and so on until somehow your brain gets confused and you think you are getting aroused by Michael Jackson.

All kidding aside though, I really dig the song. His vocals really come through well, and I think it’s one of this best songs. I know I kid about him all the time, but I’m a fan of Michael’s. He’s a great performer, even though he is a little weird.

Overall, the I like the song, but I am creeped out by the video, so it’s really hard to give this one an accurate score. And I aslo didn’t think the video was entertaining at all, like creepy stuff usually is. But I gotta give MJ props regardless, so it gets a decent score from me…

Score: 5.3

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