Another old Kpop video review. I swear I must have written a million of these things.

I know it’s awful, but give me a break. This thing was written over 5 years ago at a time in my life when I remained in alcohol induced stupors for weeks on end. Hell, I was still using my old alias “zero”. I’ll try to get some new reviews up in the near future, but in the mean time, I hope you enjoy this trip down memory lane.

Lee Jung Hyun - Joolae

by zero

I’ve seen a lot of weird videos ever since I started to get into the magical world of kpop, but by far, Joolae has to be one of the strangest. Even though I’ve seen this video a ton of times, everytime I’m done watching it, I say to myself, “Damn, that was fucked up”.

Joolae is by Lee Jung Hyun. Now, LJH is somewhat the “Bjork” of the kpop world. She has a unique style of music that few other Korean popstars do, and she’s really freaky. And you guys know how much I dig the freaky girls. I think Joolae means doll or something in Korean too, but I’m not sure. I could ask one of my Korean friends right now, but they are busy eating at fuk mi. ( note: Joolae means “give it to me”. Thanks toki!!! )

The video starts out with this guy coming home with his doll and realizing that he lost the key to his wind-up doll. Why this guy is playing with dolls, I won’t get into, but it seems a tad fruity if you ask me. I mean if it was one of those Real Dolls I would understand… uh… wait a minute. Forget what I just said. At any rate the guy goes out to look for the key, leaving the doll alone. Which could only lead to one thing…

THE DOLL COMES ALIVE!!! Sheer madness I tell you. How and why? Well, we will never know. What I do know is that this could only mean trouble. I mean dolls coming alive? Think about it, Chucky from Child’s Play, the Toys in Toy Story. Surely no good can come out of this.

Well regardless, the doll is alive and she is angry. Well maybe not angry, but definitely kinda ticked off. Yeah, the doll is kinda ticked off, so she decides to go walking around and um… uh… well it doesn’t really explain why in the video, but that doesn’t really matter to much. I like to pretend that she came alive in order to try to become a Real Doll, much like Pinnocio tried to become a real boy.

Dispersed all throughout the entire video is scenes of Lee Jung Hyun dressed up as a doll and walking through dollhouses and such. Infact, it reminds me a lot of Aqua’s Barbie Girl video ( note to self: download Barbie Girl video ). I’m not sure whether or not that she was trying to say that she was the wind-up doll, or something else, but I do know that she looks really honeyfied, almost as much as one of those Real Dolls.

Back to the main story though; while the doll is walking around, she causes a big chain reaction worthy of Goldberg device status that causes a really big mess. Shit falls everywhere and stuff just starts breaking. While all this is going on, something falls on a camera, which snaps a polaroid of the doll walking around.

Well Mr. “Sissy I play with dolls” comes home and finds his house in disarray. ( See I told you nothing good could come out of dolls coming alive.) He found the key, but then he picks up the snapshot and saw that his doll was walking around. The end.

Joolae has to be one of my most watched kpop vids. Normally I burn videos on to cds to make space on my pathetically small harddrive, but this one is one of the few that has earned a space on it. The music has a decent dancebeat, and the video… well the video is unique to say the least.

score: 8.7

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