Koda Kumi is so talented!!!

Whenever I hear there’s a new Koda Kumi video out, I think “Yes! More fap-material!” What she lacks in talent she more than makes up for with near nudity. She’s not as pretty in the face as say… Tomiko Van, but we all get distracted by her severe lack of clothing and her writhing moves. I’d like to think that that’s a great gameplan. I mean, it worked for Fergie, who looks like somone hit her in the face repeatedly with a shovel.

As usual, I was trolling controlle.net when I came across Love Goes Like… It’s been a while since I’ve done a music video review, and what better one than this one…

Okay let me take that back. There are probably a hundred better videos to review than Love Goes Like… because nothing happens. Well not much. And to add insult to injury, Koda Kumi probably wears more clothes in this one video than all of her other videos combined. Serious. It’s not like I watch her videos to listen to the music or because they have great storylines; it’s because I want to see Koda Kumi grinding against the air wearing booty shorts and a push up bra.

Koda Kumi is trapped in a glass box. I’m going ahead and getting this joke out of the way, but I’d sure like to be trapped in her box.

Har har har.

(Notice how lazy I’ve gotten. Years ago, I would have had an intricate setup for the joke followed by flawless execution of the joke. Now I just go out toss it out there. Maybe it’s time I hang it up.)

She also has these freaky contacts. Freaky!

This reminds me of years and years ago when my roommate had some contacts that made his eyes look like Darth Maul. He would scare the crap out of people whenever he wore them. Those contacts also came in handy whenever he wanted to reenact the last scene of Thriller.

While Koda Kumi is in her glass prison, she’s taunted by what appears to be Putties from the Power Rangers. I’m sure there’s some symbolism for this, but I can’t stop thinking about the Power Rangers now. Especially the Green Ranger Tommy. He’s so dreamy. From wikipedia:

Green Ranger is a designation given to several characters in Power Rangers. The Green Ranger, with the exception of Tommy Oliver and Cameron Watanabe, is usually a comic relief character. The Green Ranger is also one of the few Rangers who receive special gear, along with the Red and Blue Rangers.

The Power Rangers series alternate between Green and Black Rangers, with most teams featuring either a Green Ranger or a Black Ranger, but very rarely both. Like the Black Ranger, there has never been a female Green Ranger.

I was already a bit to old to be enjoying the Power Rangers when they were starting to become popular, but luckily I had a younger brother who liked watching Power Rangers. I’d watch it with him after school under the guise of “Oh I want to watch something else but since you’re already watching Power Rangers I guess I’ll just watch the stupid show.” I use this technique to this very day with other people for shows like Dora the Explorer and the Suite Life with Zack and Cody.

Back to the video. This scene reminded me of Sephiroth from Final Fantasy 7. I’d be careful since it’s never a good idea to copy Final Fantasy.

I wish there was more to say about this video, but honestly there isn’t. Even the old standby of Koda Kumi being half naked isn’t in this video, which makes it even more disappointing.

Score: 4.5

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