Ka-yoot!

Jang Nara: Sweet Dream

A lot of you guys probably first remember Jang Nara from my imaginary date with her in a while back. As with most of my dates, real or imaginary, I struck out bigtime, but I can’t deny the fact that I learned something from it: do not try to impress your date with dancing if you have no rhythm.

Recently, Jang Nara released an album, and one of the videos off of it is for the track Sweet Dream. Blah blah blah, and I’m going to review it, blah blah blah. I’m pretty sure you guys know the drill by now. But before you read any further, I recommend you:

1. Put away all sharp objects.

2. Download some Crowded House.

3. Register for my forums, and then post like a madman.

Why am I telling you to do all of this? Well, you should soon find out my children…

Sweet Dream is basically a “bad day” in the life of Jang Nara. To me, it doesn’t seem so bad, but that’s only because there aren’t any roaches in this video. It starts off with her being rudely awaken by a mechanism that launches her off of her bed.

By the way, sorry for the voting number thing on all of these screencaps. I tried finding a better quality version, but I gave up because Mao told me too.

She then goes to brush her teeth and make cute faces at the camera. This happens… oh… I don’t know… about 30 million times in the video, yet I never seem to tire of it. It probably doesn’t show too much when you look at these pictures, but Jang Nara is absolutely adorable. I’d want her to be my girlfriend, but I wouldn’t even want to have sex with her for fear that I would soil her forever. Even typing that line up made me feel dirty.

I think I would just be content to give her a hug and pinch her cheecks every now and then. You guys might think I’m joking, but by now you should know that I don’t kid about stuff like this.

And as I said in my imaginary date with her, she does look like a girl I dated, except only cuter, and her head isn’t as big. What?! You don’t believe me? Well, to prove you wrong, here’s my ex’s pic:

See, what did I say? Those two are practically twins. It’s really eerie how two people can look exactly alike. Kate, if you are reading this, I like your big head. I also like the hot mouth, so if you ever want to hook up again, hop on my wang, just don’t bite it again. That was unfun.

Back to the video, nothing seems to be going right for our little cutie pie. She shaves her legs, and manages to cut herself up. She does the laundry, but uses too much detergent and makes a mess. She also has a machine that will automatically put jam on her toast, but it almosts ends up going all over her face, nearly resulting in a grape jam bukkake scene.

Yummy. Maybe the only part of the day that didn’t go wrong. Jang Nara eats a sandwich almost as big as she is. This reminds me of the other day when I went to Wendy’s. I ordered their Triple burger, or whatever it is called, and then I asked for double the meat.

If you guys don’t know, it already has three patties, and I was trying to get three more. It’s only like a dollar I think. At any rate, the girl in drive thru was like, “Dear Jesus no! Lord have mercy, your arteries will explode!” So of course I punked out. I will do it one day though… one day…

Jang Nara has all these fancy fan-dangle-ma-jig machines and techno-mological gadgets, but in order to power up her tv, she has to ride a bike to generate electricity. Now that I think about it, this might actually not be a bad idea. Imagine how much more motivated people would be if they had to exercise in order to watch television. What?! FRIENDS is still on? Uh… maybe they’d be better off reading or surfing for porn.

The video closes with Jang Nara having to make an appointment. She rushes to throw some clothes on and manages to leave on time. She doesn’t notice the socks that are clinging to the back of her jacket, ending the video on an oh so hilarious note.

Sweet Dream was a really good video. The song was pretty decent pop stuff, and I’m sure that Bel Biv Devo would hate it. Never trust a big butt and a smile. You guys, on the other hand, would love it, so I highly recommend you download it. If you don’t, Jang Nara will drop kick you.

Score: 8.4

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