The article that spawned a 1000 hate mails. Oh yeah, DBZ still sucks and Goku is a closet homo.

Reasons Why I Hate Dragonball Z [repost] The article that spawned a 1000 hate mails. Oh yeah, DBZ still sucks and Goku is a closet homo.

Aside from my review of Chuckie Akenz video, I’d have to say that no other article spawned as many hatemails and bad comments as this one. I kind of knew it would though. The Dragon Ball fanbase is as rabid as any and they see any attack on some cartoon that they have no personal connection with as an attack against themselves. The old me would have made fun of them for that; but I realize that the majority of them probably masturbate to fan made pictures of Bulma-porn and I start feeling sorry for them.

---

Reasons why I hate Dragonball Z

I hate Dragonball Z. Things weren’t always this way though. I remember a friend of mine showing me a couple of episodes he had way back during my freshman year of college, and I was blown away. When I later learned that the Cartoon Network was picking up the show, I was completely stoked.

Dragonball was created by Akira Toriyama, who also did art for the Dragon Quest series and Chrono Trigger, and was also based off of Journey to the West (the Monkey King story). The original series concentrated on the adventures of a young Goku, while the Z series had a bigger cast that was primarily concerned with fighting aliens that look like neon dildos.

As usual, I’m not going to just say I hate something without justifying why I feel the way I feel. In today’s article, I’m going to give you a few reasons that caused me to despise a series which I once liked.

1. It is drawn out

The entire Dragonball Z series could probably be cut down to 20 episodes, instead of 190+. The early episodes weren’t so bad, but as it progressed, there were three or four episode spans where nothing happened because one of the heroes was thinking about how powerful the enemies were.

Nothing would piss me off more. I suppose knowing what the character was thinking was important, but it wasn’t necessary to have Goku go into a 15 minute soliloquy about how his power level compares to whatever foe he was facing at the moment. I guess the producers thought it would increase the anticipation and thereby making the action scenes alot more exciting, and in the beginning it worked. But it was way overused and it caused me to lose my interest after a while.

One way to remedy this is to collect a bunch of episodes so that you can watch all of them in one setting, but this can get prohibitively expensive… unless you have the internet of course…

2. Everybody is too powerful

Probably halfway through the series, nearly all of the Z fighters were powerful enough to blow up the Earth by farting really loud. Like the soliloquy scenes, it was kinda cool at first to know everybody’s power level, but by the time everyone had powerlevel 17 bajillion, it was kinda old.

The whole Super Saiyan transformation thing was also stupid. Now that I’m typing this article out, I realize that alot of the things the show did were cool at first, but they overkilled on everything. I should write that down. But yeah, it was amazing to see Goku go Super Saiyan at first, but then there was Super Saiyan Level 2, SS Level 3, SS Conjuction, SS Conjunction Level 2, and so on and so on.

3. DBZ is racist

No, really it is. Have you seen Mr. Popo? The main thing that makes me say this is the Super Saiyan transformation. For those of you that don’t know, going Super Saiyan was when some of the Saiyan characters (Goku, Gohan, Vegeta, etc.) increased their power level. They weren’t really different except for two things: they had blonde hair and blue eyes.

Just what excactly were they trying to say to viewers? I could be wrong (which I rarely am), but this seems very very suspicious. I wouldn’t be surprised if the Nazis were involved somehow.

4. Goku is dumb as fuck

I mean it was all cute back when he was a kid on Dragonball, but there were times which I seriously wanted to punch Goku in the face. If he even had half a brain, he could have prevented a ton of bad shit from happening. Plus he always had a thing for arriving at the last moment. I hate people who aren’t punctual.

5. Nothing is final

When somebody on DBZ dies, it’s not even a big deal. Who cares if Gohan gets eaten by a gay alien? He’s going to reappear in a few episodes. And if not, he gets to go train with a grasshopper in 100 times gravity.

I always thought that this was the biggest mistake the show made. I mean, I know it’s for little kids and all, but it makes it seem as if everything is pointless (which it is). Who cares if Freiza blows up the world? Just find a bunch of Dragonballs and bring it back.

6. Satan

Satan is a douchebag and I want him to die. I wish I could get a spiked baseball bat and repeatedly bludgeon him in the crotch.

I guess those were my biggest complaints about the series. I must admit, it is entertaining at times and series gets alot more shit than it deserves. As a whole, it isn’t too bad (I’ve seeen worse… alot worse), and it, along with Pokemon, helped bring anime to mainstream America. But I’m sure there is no need for me to praise this series any, because a bunch of DBZ fans will be more than happy to do so.

Related Posts: