Step 1. Get a bunch of hot Yuna cosplayers with extremely low self esteems.

When I started popho, I had originally planned it to be a video game blog. However there are tons of sites out there that can do it better than me, and besides, most of the games that I play were made pre-1996. Who would really care about decade old games right? Plus my love of writing about random shit like the Hills and making Misa Campo galleries took over.

At any rate, in this post, I thought I would tell you guys how to create the ultimate Final Fantasy party. And I’m talking about the old NES version, not the subsequent ones that butchered a lot of elements that made the first one so much fun (mp in FF1 is pretty much sacrilegious). If you’re going to be taking on bad asses like Lich or Warmech, you’re going to want to optimize your party.

Here’s the “default” party. It’s decent, more focused on offense than some of the other configurations. But there’s one huge problem. Thieves suck. Seriously, they do. They are the diarhea of the Final Fantasy 1 world; the only thing they do well is “run.” I know some people like to use them because they can upgrade to being a ninja later on in the game, but whatever. Ninjas are pretty horrid as well. “Oh I can equip every weapon, but I can only do like 5 damage. Also I can cast black magic but only up to a low level which is pretty much worthless late in the game.”

This is probably one of my favorite parties. It’s a little rough to play with these guys early in the game, but by the time you start accessing those level 7 and 8 spells… oh boy, look out. I know some people like to go fighter-fighter or monk-monk, but I always put one of both. Monks become offensive juggernauts late in the game, but I like to use all of the neat weapons and armors I found.

If you like magic, then you probably played with this party. I finished FF1 a couple of times with this config and I have to say that it’s not so bad later on in the game or if you level up a lot, but I do remember getting my but whipped by Garland… motherfucking Garland the last time I used this group.

By the way, I do have to say, that I played the ever living fuck out of this game when I was a kid. I ate, slept, breathed this game for a period of about 2 years. I also would put little challenges on myself to make the game more difficult; stuff like, “oh everybody has to be at the same level” or “I have to fight Warmech without with my eyes closed.”

I even beat the game with all black mages. I remember it being hard as shit, but I would go and power level like a mofo. Sure, I don’t have a healer, but can you imagine 4 Level 50 Black Wizards raining down Nuke on your ass? Yeah, I didn’t need a healer, because nothing lasted for long around these guys.

This was my friend’s favorite group. I spent hours telling him that thieves suck but he decided to be a dumbass and used one anyway. Whatever, it’s his funeral. By the way, this conversation occured yesterday. I really hate my life and I need to get out more.

And here is my favorite party; lots and lots of offense. Sometimes I would go double monk, but I usually stuck to double fighter because I wanted to use both Excalibur and the Masamune. It’s light on the magic side… but whatever. Who needs magic when your Master Monk is dishing out PAIN to all the giants in that one hallway and your fighters are making short work of dragons. Also, the red mage is no flub himself. I think I would give him something like a defender or vorpal and he would become a bad ass himself.

Well I hope you enjoyed my little write up on Final Fantasy. Even now I consider it one of my favorites. If you haven’t played it in a while, I recommend getting a copy and giving it a spin. Using my party of course.