Quite simply the finest music video ever to come out of Korea.

Candy was one of the first music video reviews I ever did, and boy does it show. Actually, it doesn’t, because I still write like a kindergartener despite the fact that I have spent more time in a classroom than 99% of the population. But I digress…

I don’t know why I am posting this now other than the fact that this video still makes me laugh to this very day. Enjoy.

Even though they have broken up, H.O.T. remains one of kpop’s most influential groups. In fact, I dare to say, that they have made kpop what it is today. Numerous acts have tried to follow, but none have come close to these five guys.

H.O.T. consists of Moon Hee Jun, Kang Ta, Tony An, Jang Woo Hyuk, and Lee Jae Won. But like other boy bands, you might as well as discard their names and identify them by the characteristics, i.e. the crazy one, the cute one, the older brother, etc.

Now you might be wondering what H.O.T. stands for. House of Tofu? Hagus ogre teeth? Huge oval tits? If it had been any of these, it would have made more sense than what it actually is, High-five of Teenagers. What the fuck is a High-five of Teenagers? It must be stylish to speak bad English in Asia, b/c how much could it have cost to hire a good translator? At any rate, on to the video…

I swear I could not believe my eyes when I first saw this vid. What the hell was going on? If it weren’t for the fact that Disney hates Asian people ( it’s true ), I could have sworn that this was a kid show on the mouse network. Yet, I could not help but watch. I was mesmerized by the colourful costumes and the poppy beat. It was as if the Backstreet Boys were hit by the Disney employee bus over Seoul.

More great costumes and more great dancing! What doesn’t this video have? Well it appears the general story of this video is that the guys are trying to woo this girl who works at Disneyland by doing all sorts of crazy stunts. And just who is their object of affection?

Why the token white girl of course. I think she’s supposed to be Snow White or something, so I guess that makes H.O.T. the dwarves. If you guys didn’t know, deep down, all Asian men want trophy Caucasian wives… okay maybe not…

You might be wondering how these guys actually go about trying to get this girl’s attention. Well, they sing, dance, and do some other stuff, but one member does something which I would have highly recommended against…

Kang Ta invites her to count his ribs. What was this guy thinking? I’m a pretty scrawny guy, but I have more mass than this guy. It’s like as if a skeleton walked on screen. Hmm… do any of you ladies actually get turned on by this… if so leave me a message on my tagboard. I’ll let you count my ribs if I can count yours.

One thing I that I noticed about this video is its sense of style. Who could hate hate giant fluffy overalls with cow patterns on it? Also, they have jerseys with their names written on it. If that isn’t style, I don’t know what is. Well, to finish the video, the guys finally manage to get the girl. How I don’t know. The video doesn’t quite explain, but that’s just one of the things I like about the wonderful world of k-pop music. She dons a sexy red dress and then goes on a date with all five of the guys. Chalk one up for the Asian men!!!

In order to do this review, I had to watch this video several times, and each time I wanted to poke my eyeballs out. There was no telling what I wanted to do to my ears. In all fairness, this video several years old, and stuff like this isn’t generally my bag. It’s still fun to check it out if you haven’t seen it though.

Score: 4.6

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