I wish I could find me a fast food bitch, but all I get are Applebee hoes.

King Ghiddra - Fast Food Bitch I wish I could find me a fast food bitch, but all I get are Applebee hoes.

Despite the fact that I’ve tried my best to cover all aspects of Asian music here on konton, I haven’t done a really good job of covering Japanese hip hop. Well, there were a couple of Heartsdale reviews, but those don’t really count since I had a ghostwriter do those. I’m just shady like that.

I’ve been wanting to review King Ghiddra’s F.F.B. forever. It’s always been on my to do list along with Because I am a Girl and Dr. Feelgood… I just never got around to sitting down and hammering out a review. So tonight, instead of studying for my finals or doing something useful, I just thought I’d type up a little review.

Big thanks to controlle for hooking me up with this video way back when. If you’re into Asian music, be sure to check out his site, because it’s a ton better than mine.

Synopsis:

I honestly don’t know much about King Ghiddra, what his deal is, or even if I spelled his name right. The only thing that I do know about him is that he likes big tits and that he looks like a teddy bear and has a Tone Loc vibe to him. Serious. I always analogize Asian pop stars to ones that I know and he is the perfect Tone Loc.

At any rate, KG likes to hang out at the local fast food place and who can blame him…

I mean, just look at these broads. I know that in other places, McDonalds and Burger Kings are popular hang out spots for teens, but where I’m from, the only people who hung out at Burger King on the weekends were wanna-be thugsters or people who like to go muddin’ i.e. drive their trucks through mud… like swine. If there were any hot girls all up in Wendy’s or whatever, I’d be there in a heartbeat.

But yeah, KG is just chillin’ with some hoes up in the fast food joint. Here’s a picture of them playing in the balls. If I were still childish and immature, I’d probably say something gay like “I got some balls they could play with. Har har har.”

…

…

I got some balls they could play with. Har har har.

Sorry I couldn’t resist. I know it’s stupid or whatever, but since a grand total of 3 people read my reviews, I’d figure I would have a little fun while I waste my life away typing this up.

By the way, there’s a good chance that I am going to fail my final. I can’t wait till I get a chance to explain to my parents why I failed my legal ethics class because I reviewed a video about fast food bitches rather than studying. Go me!

Oh, and there’s also this guy. He has a really raspy rapping voice. I would compare him to Mystikal… except he’s not as intense and doesn’t sound like he’s popping a squat. He does back up duty in the video and does a great job. For all I know, he could be King Ghiddra and I’ve got everything all backwards.

There’s not too much plot to the video… just a bunch of foos hanging out and dry humping each other. The standard stuff you see in fast food joints. Watching this video makes me wish I had a possee to hang out in McDonalds with. Maybe we can have a konton meet up in one. One day… one day…

Music:

King Ghiddra’s rhymes are alright. He words seem to flow really well. One thing that I did notice was that he raps really slow… not as slow as Ma$e… but you know what I mean.

Fiyah:

For a video called Fast Food Bitch, I was expecting more fiyah. Don’t get me wrong, there’s some nice assshaking and half naked women, but the video focused too much on the dudes. I mean, get with it KG, if I watch a rap video I expect to see a bunch of skanks vibrating their asses at light speed.

Overall:

I probably haven’t said a lot of positive things about FFB, but I really like the video. It’s fun and upbeat, and the rappers don’t try to act all hard and shit. I dig KG’s rapping style and even Asian Mystikal is pretty good.

But yeah, we all know the reason why I watch rap videos. Ladies, do yo thang:

Score: 3.7

Screenshots: