A Korean claymation movie about dog shit. Serious.

Doggy Poo A Korean claymation movie about dog shit.

Doggy Poo is a Korean children’s claymation movie about dog shit. No, really, it is. Unlike the time where I tried to convice you guys that I was able to lift 30 pound weights off the ground by tying a rope around my wang the weights, I am telling the truth. While not the most bizarre thing that I have seen in my life, I have to say that it is right up there with onara, doobing, laxdropping, and people who listen to Good Charlotte.

The movie starts off with Doggy Poo being “born” when a dog takes a shit. I have to admit, Doggy Poo is the cutest piece of shit I’ve ever seen. Mr. Hanky used to be the number one turd, but Doggy Poo has taken him over for that place in my heart.

A bird walks by right as Doggy Poo is waking up and is absolutely disgusted. Confused, Doggy Poo starts crying. (By the way, Doggy Poo cries about 398743294 times during this movie. It’s pretty sad.)

Doggy Poo then meets a pile of dirt that fell off a wagon. At first, Mr. Dirt teases Doggy Poo about being feces. And just not any old feces, but dog feces.

You know, at this point, I started thinking about whether there’s some sort of secret caste system feces goes by. I guess it would be by what animal you come from and what was eaten before you were shatted (sp?) out. Like if I ate a big steak and took a dump, and somebody had some corn and took a dump, when we flushed the toilet and they all ended up in the sewer, Steak Dump would rule over Corn Dump.

Okay that was absolutely disgusting. Sorry. Back to the movie.

Mr. Dirt feels bad for making fun of Doggy Poo and tries to cheer him up. Mr. Dirt then goes into his life story about how he used to be dirt on a potato farm. Through a series of unfortunate events, Mr. Dirt fell off an ox-cart and is now stranded on teh side of the road. It’s only a matter of time before Mr. Dirt gets run over and his life is ended.

By the way, true story, I am listening to Snoop Dogg as I write this. Hilarity!

Mr. Dirt ends up getting saved from being run over by the same farmer who dropped him. Mr. Dirt is overjoyed, but now Doggy Poo is all alone and sad.

Then a leaf comes along. Doggy Poo is glad to have some company once more, especially one as cute as Mr. Leaf. Mr. Leaf teaches Doggy Poo about some valuable lesson or whatnot, but once more my serious lack of attention span got the best of me and I wasn’t paying attention. I bet this movie has a ton of good lessons… since you know… it is a kids movie and all. The wind blows Mr. Leaf away though, leaving Doggy Poo all alone once more.

Winter comes and then springtime arrives. At this point Doggy Poo has been outside for at least a few months now. Shouldn’t he be turning white or crusty or something? I mean, all the dog poo I’ve seen does that after a couple of days. This movie isn’t very true to life.

A chicken comes along looking for food for her chicks. She sees Doggy Poo and is absolutely disgusted and tells her yougin’s to stay away from him. At this point, Doggy Poo is nearly suicidal. He has no real purpose in life and he starts crying once more. He says a falling star and prays to God.

By the way, if I had kids, I wouldn’t let them watch this movie. Not because it stars a piece of shit, but because it is fucking depressing as hell. Doggy Poo cries every 10 minutes and he’s just so adorable you can’t help but feel bad every time he cries. Ugh. I rarely ever cry at movies, but my eyes were tearing during this movie.

Rain starts to fall and a weed starts sprouting in front of Doggy Poo. The weed is really this hot broad that has a fantastic rack.

Just kidding. The weed is a dandelion. She sees that Doggy Poo is upset and tells him about how he could help her grow by becoming fertilizer. Doggy Poo is overjoyed! He’s finally found his purpose in “life” and he and the weed starts to get it on.

Cue porno music. *bow-chicka-bow-wow*

The weed grows into a beautiful dandelion and then the wind blows it away. The end.

Well, what else can I say? It’s a movie about a talking dog turd. If that isn’t reason enough for you guys to watch this, I don’t know what is. It is a children’s movie, so don’t expect anything fantastic. Except for maybe the claymation. (Seeing this movie makes me wonder why claymation isn’t more widely used today.) It is a “little” bizarre, but once you get over the fact that you’re watching feces it does have some important lessons that every little tyke should know. I recommend getting this and watching it with your little brother, sister, cousin, nambla buddy, etc.

Grade: C+