Does anybody know what Britney is mumbling about? Google doesn’t give me any lyrics to this song at the moment.

It seems like I’ve been doing a lot of posts on Britney Spears around here lately. I feel like it’s 2001 all over again, except for the fact that I’m not hunched over my computer trying to determine whether or not you really can see Britney’s vagoo when she’s wearing that tight red jumpsuit. As stated earlier, things haven’t been so going so well for Britney… but I thought that things would turn around for her once she had an official video for Gimme More to replace that atrocious VMA performance.

Well, the video for Gimme More was leaked a couple of days ago, and initial reports say that it’s pretty God awful. I managed to watch it in youtube, but since it’ll probably be down by the time you read this, I decided not to post it in this article. However feel free to download it from here.

0:06 - Right at the start of the video, we see Britney and her friend up in some club drinking and partying. Not what I would be doing if I just temporarily lost my kids in a custody battle.

0:19 - Does anybody know what Britney is mumbling about? Google doesn’t give me any lyrics to this song at the moment.

0:23 - Wow. I just checked Billboard and Gimme More is #3 on their Top 100 Songs at the moment. That’s pretty impressive considering that everything I’ve seen written about her, this song and this video has been lampooning it. Equally impressive is the fact that I am checking out billboard.com rather than watching this video…

0:24 - Britney is portraying a stripper.

0:32 - Holy shit this is horrible. It’s not as bad as her VMA performance… which isn’t saying a lot. Her dancing skills have gone down the shitter. Fuck, the Youk/Papelbon dance off had better dance moves than this video.

0:52 - Something tells me that Britney’s label doesn’t have a lot faith in Britney anymore. The budget for this video probably couldn’t even pay for a pizza…

And I’m talking about a Totino’s pizza. (OH SNAP GUESS I TOLD HER!)

1:08 - Since this was a leak and all, maybe this isn’t the final video.

1:32 - Britney should stop hanging around a bunch of hot girls because I’m more interested in them than her at this point of the video. What Britney needs is a dumpy girl with acne problems and daddy issues. Maybe a tall lanky girl thats was on the debate team. Oh, one of those extremely unfashionable gay guys that people will say, “you’re so stylish” just because he’s gay and gay people are supposed to be stylish.

I’m not saying that Britney’s ugly or not attractive. If I saw her walking down the street, she’s definitely turn my head. It’s just that she doesn’t have that je ne sais quois anymore.

1:35 - This is the guy that Britney’s jocking in the video. I bet she grinds up on him in a minute.

2:00 - Since this was a leak and all, maybe this video was just a joke released by internet pranksters.

2:04 - It could be worse.

2:23 - This song is horrible.

2:56 - …

3:05 - I don’t know if this even qualifies as music anymore. There’s a bunch of moaning and mooing. I could mic up my bathroom while a take a shit and that would have just as much musical integrity as this tripe.

3:40 - There’s a voice over right now talking about the “legendary” Britney Spears.

4:02 - Video over. Thank fucking God.

Verdict: There’s bad, and there’s extremely shitty, and then there’s this. I was really hoping Britney would redeem herself with the video for Gimme More… but it seems that no matter what she does it turns out horrible. The song’s awful, the video’s awful… I just can’t find one positive thing to say about it.

Score: 1.5

P.S. I watched this video on youtube, but you can download it here.

Related Posts:

→ Britney Spears: ...Baby One More Time
→ Britney Spears's 2007 VMA Performance
→ Britney Spears: From Hot to Not