To say that this song and video were huge would be a gross understatement. There had been nothing quite like it, and I seriously doubt that there will ever be again.

It’s been a rough few years for Britney Spears. At one point in time, Britney was on top of the world… but it seems that she just can’t catch a break these days. Forget about the horrendous VMA performance, I think the real tragedy was Britney losing custody of her kids. People do stupid shit all the time, but if a judge thinks that Kevin Federline, aka the biggest douchebag ever, would be a more responsible parent than you would be… well… you’ve got some serious problems.

And if that wasn’t bad enough, there’s also a rumor of a Britney Spear’s sex tape out there. Will anything ever go Britney’s way ever again?

At any rate, you guys are probably aware that we don’t like to focus too much on the present here on popho… instead, we like to dwell in the past! So in light of Britney’s legal woes and sex tape escapades, we thought today would be the perfect time to do a quick run through of one of Britney’s finer, if not finest, moment; her video for …Baby One More Time.

(Quick note, but the official title to this song is …Baby One More Time with the elipses. I always thought it was Hit Me Baby One More Time. Maybe the record company thought it would encourage domestic violence or something.)

0:01 - To say that this song and video were huge would be a gross understatement. There had been nothing quite like it, and I seriously doubt that there will ever be again. Every element of the fabulous Britney spears was on. To quote Family Guy, “America loves hot white jailbait ass,” and nothing else embodied this quite so well as Britney Spears circa 1999.

0:08 - The video starts off with a young Ms. Spears in full Catholic schoolgirl uniform being bored out of her mind in class. I’m willing to bet schoolgirl uniforms are involved in more sexual fantasies than any other… er… uniforms. (Cheerleading outfits probably come a close second, followed by sexy nurse getups.)

0:09 - She has mad pencil twirling skills.

0:12 - Whoa! I didn’t realize Mayim Bialik was in this video.

0:15 - It’s 3 o’clock and class lets out. Time for trouble.

0:22 - These were some pretty slutty schoolgirl outfits.

0:33 - I just can’t get over how hot Britney is in this video. It just boggles the mind. I was obsessed with this video and all things Britney in general back in the day. I remember probably a good 50% of all of my internet posts were about her and I would even make up parodies of songs were I was Britney’s love interest.

…

Okay that was really sad and I really need to seek professional help.

1:00 - what does Britney mean when she says “Hit me baby one more time”? Like get back together again? Lover’s rendezvous at midnight behind the Wendy’s?

1:14 - I wish there was more stuff for me to comment on in this video. Not that it’s bad or whatever, but there’s not a whole lot happening other than me wanting to hit Britney in a sexual way with the force of a thousand suns.

1:27 - Britney switches to a more “athletic” outfit consisting of a pink, midriff-baring tank top and white pants.

1:29 - I feel like I should be on E! doing play-by-play of some red carpet event or something because I’ve spent the majority of this post talking about what Britney is wearing.

2:14 - An often overlooked aspect of Britney’s career was that her dance routines had great choreography.

And that Britney was really good at pouting.

2:32 - I’ve got a ball Britney can play with!

HAR HAR HAR!

2:33 - We change scenes and Britney’s at a basketball game now… except nobody’s playing basketball and everyone’s dancing.

3:41 - Great. Now Mayim Bialik is dancing too.

3:50 - The video ends with Britney back in class. Apparently this video was just a daydream…

Verdict: I really can’t say enough about the video that started the whole Britney Spears’ phenomena. Even by today’s standards, it still holds up pretty well. When I first saw the video, it was hard not to think that Britney was going to be huge. I know that things haven’t been going well for lately, but I’m positive that if she gets her shit together she could rise to the top once more.

Score: 8.5

P.S. Does anyone know how to apply an html sarcasm tag?

Related Posts:

→ Britney Spears's 2007 VMA Performance
→ Megan Fox Gallery
→ Christine Mendoza [Gallery]
→ Britney Spears: From Hot to Not