The ex-President shows you how to do the Macarena properly and effectively. Cigars not included.

Bill Clinton’s Macarena Lesson The ex-President shows you how to do the Macarena properly and effectively. Cigars not included.

Hi everyone. Bill Clinton here. Some of you might remember me as the leader of the free world or that guy who used a cigar as a sex toy. I am glad to be here today to teach you how to do the Macarena. As some of you know, the Macarena was a catchy song about a slutty girl by Los Del Rios. In addition to being one of the greatest pop songs ever, the Macarena was also a dance.

For a brief moment in time, the Macarena was it. I mean it was absolutely everywhere. Nowadays it is still popular at weddings, parties for old people, and bake-offs. I want you to be prepared America just in case you’re in a situation that calls for the Macarena. I care about you America.

First, you stick your right arm out with the palm down, as if you were doing the hokie pokie. No, not that hokie pokie. But the kind you did when you were in kindergarten. Do the same with your left arm. Then put your right arm out with the palm up followed by the left. Grab the inside of your left elbow and then the inside of your right elbow.

Good good! That’s it. You got it. Now slowly unzip the fronts of your pants and slowly slide your pants down. Oh yeah. Oh yeah. That’s how Dirty Bill likes it. Oops. Sorry. I got distracted for a second there. Back to the real dance.

Grab the back of your neck with your right hand followed by the left. Ah… this is my favorite position in the world. I’ve spent many hours like this in the Oval Office. But enough of me reminiscing about the good ol’ days…

Put your right hand on your ass and then your left hand on your ass. I also like this part of the dance. It’s so sensual. Then comes the fun part.

Move your bottom to the left, then right, and then just go crazy with it. I like to rotate my hips in a circular motion. Hilary goes wild when I do this. After that, just clap your hands and turn to the right. Repeat for the best time of your life.

I hope that you found my lesson helpful. The Macarena is a fun dance to learn and is enjoyable by people of all sizes, shapes, colors, breast sizes, etc. It is also kind of like chess; minutes to learn, but a lifetime to master. Good bye for now!

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