Never trust a big butt and a smile. Or chips that are flavored like rappers.

This was a post from konton, my previous site. I don’t know why I am posting this because it’s pretty retarded. But yeah, enjoy.

BBD Back at the Ranch Chips Never trust a big butt and a smile. Or chips that are flavored like rappers.

I’d have to say that over the past couple of years, I’ve taken many steps to lower my internet profile, which is quite a change from the days when I would plaster my face all over the place. It was partly because it probably wouldn’t be good if potential clients saw me creating little comic strips where I go on imaginary dates with Chyna and just because I was getting too old to do this stuff anyway. Then I realized that, “Hey, this is part of who I am. I get a kick out of it and who cares what anybody else thinks.” Then I started crying because I was so lonely.

So lonely.

At any rate, today’s article is about some celebrity endorsed chips. And not just any celebrities, but mother fucking Bell Biv DeVoe. If you don’t know about these guys, then shit, you’re just missing out on life. Here’s a little snipet from the back of the bag of chips:

BBD

As original members of the highly acclaimed group New Edition, BBD was formed. Their unique blend of Hip-Hop beats, B-boy attitute and R&B harmonies made BBD stand out from the rest. Their 1990 debut album, Poison, sold over 4 million albums and included hits like “Do Me”, “Poison” and “When Will I See You Smile”. Now on BIV 10/Universal Records, BBD is BAck! The new single, “Da Hot Sh*t (Aight)” is taking the radio airwaves by storm. The new Album BBD is in-stores NOW!

I guess BBD is (was?) trying to make a come back. If so, I’ve never heard of their new single or album, which really sucks since I am so down with the East Coast family. ABC, BBD. I also have to say Do Me is one of the greatest songs ever, but I digress…

I first saw this brand of chips when I was at a deli with Hermes and a couple of other guys, but for some reason, I didn’t buy it. Months later, I was surfing on the internet one night and for some God unknown reason, I went to rapsnacks.com…

You know the saying “An idiot and his money are soon parted”? Well yeah. I ended up buying over a 100 bags of chips from rapsnacks. It’s a sickness I tell you. I always buy the weirdest shit when I am online and drunk. I’d have to saw that half of my wardrobe has been acquired this way.

Also, there are other flavors of rapsnacks besides just BBD. Some other famous rappers who have their own chips include Master P and Lil’ Romeo, Murphee Lee, Youngbloodz, and so on. Check out rapsnacks.com for more.

It’s disappointing to see the list of ingredients on the back of the bag of chips. I mean, since BBD are endorsing these chips, I’d at least expect some crazy ingredient like “Funk” or “Soul Brotha.” Check it out now. From the total fat and calorie count, it seems like eating this bag of chips will take a year off of my life. So if I start eating all the chips I ordered now, I should die by the time I am halfway through with them.

Let me take a good whiff of the chips. MMmmmmmm. It makes me want to smack it up, flip it, rub it down, OH NO!

By the way I really need a haircut, but that’s nothing new. At least it makes me feel pretty.

Hmmm… you really don’t get that many chips in a bag of rapsnacks. It’s like a freakin’ rip off. Where are the other half of my chips?! I just noticed that on the bag it’s written “Education = Success”. Man, not only are BBD totally doable, they are wise as well. What other snack offers you nourishment for you body as well as for your mind!

Okay now on to how it tastes…

ACK! ACK! From the title “Back at the Ranch”, I suppose it should taste like “ranch”, not “ass”. Holy crap, I can’t believe I have a 100 bags of this garbage. The chips are really stale and salty. It tastes more like licking Bell Biv Devoe after they’re all sweaty from performing all night on stage in 100 degree weather than “ranch”. I wish these chips really did contain “poison” because my tastebuds feel like they’re decaying.

I can’t believe BBD allowed their names to be attached to this shit. Ugh!

Overall, I’m going to have to give this a thumbs down. It’s not good at all and I can’t believe I wasted my money on this garbage.